Site header image - ocean landscape

A Better Way

Center for Wellness

Doreen Van Leeuwen LMFT Relationship Specialist

PAGE CONTENTS

Bring Your Relationship to a Better Place!

(image of Doreen Van Leeuwen, LMFT)

searching for relationship healing?

If you are looking for a better way, perhaps an entirely new way, to live your lives together peacefully and joyfully, you will find here many useful ideas.. 

Whatever your reasons for stopping by, please accept my Dutch hospitality and allow me to warmly welcome you.  Stay a while, sample some of my offerings, flavored with my personal blend of European-Canadian-American "seasoning", and may you find yourself living more boldly, passionately and intimately by what you discover here.

My mission evolves…

For the past eight years, my primary mission as a therapist has been the healing and reconstruction of committed partnerships.  Although I was certified as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) by the California Board of Behavioral Science Examiners in January of 1986, it wasn't until 1994 that I was introduced to a methodology of relationship-making that made great sense to me.  That was when I first encountered Imago Relationship Therapy. 

At the time, I was a single woman wanting to become prepared for a committed relationship, and I attended a Keeping The Love You Find workshop. There, I found a treasure map that pointed out a new set of directions to intimate relationship.

My first marriage had already been dashed on the rocks of divorce in 1992.  Never wanting to repeat that again, I was eager to find out all I could about successful couples.  In 1995, I met Theo Smith.  As our love deepened, we navigated into the shoals of the inevitable Power Struggles that are part and parcel of every relationship.  Stranded, we signed up for a Getting The Love You Want workshop in Lake Arrowhead, CA.

Finding the Treasure Box…

During that remarkable weekend, we were provided with a treasure trove of theories, tools, and techniques that could help us succeed. The Getting The Love You Want weekend provided us with a navigational set of blueprints to understand why we had chosen each other, how we would inevitably trigger each other's best and worst selves, and what we could do, in fact needed to do, in order to keep our relationship boat afloat successfully! 

What we learned…

How do I know? First, the consistent application of these principles began to transform our relationship.  More and more, we experienced safety with each other as we created safety for each other.  We did this by using the Couples Dialogue frequently.  Together, we read the book, Couples Companion, as well Getting The Love You Want.  We peppered our interaction with Appreciations and Positive Flooding . 

We also attended several follow-up sessions with a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, and Theo enrolled in a twelve week men's group on Committed Partnership.  Gradually, we closed our Exits , granted each other's Behavior Change Requests , and created our Relationship Vision .  Theo honed his mastery in Surprises, and both of us continue to apply liberal doses of Caring Behaviors to our partnership.  And, we added laughter to our relationship by incorporating frequent doses of High Energy Fun !

Confidence to try again…

One and a half years later, on June 13, 1998, we each looked at the other and said "Yes, I do! I really, really do!" to our Imago Partner.  Eight years later, and counting, we continue to sail along together happily, grateful that God has resourced us so abundantly, including with all the riches of Imago Relationship Therapy. 

Certification as an IRT…

Secondly, in September, 1999, I completed the certification process established by Imago Relationships International for becoming an Imago Relationship Therapist (IRT).  Since then, I have coached hundreds of sessions with couples, and continue to be amazed and delighted at the difference these skills make with my clients.  

Participating in over three hundred hours of professional training and collaboration with other Imago and non- therapists, and serving as chair for the Southern California Imago Therapists (SCIT) association for three years have enhanced my therapeutic acumen.

Print this page

Use the page print function built into your browser. It's usually an item in the File menu right below the caption of the window in which this page is displayed.

Only the page's core content will be printed. All images outside of the main content area, all navigation tools and links, and extraneous header and footer material will be omitted from the printed page.

Many browsers also have a print preview function on the same menu - you can use this to see how the printed page will look before you actually print it.